Gaga and gay love
Photo taken by Noble Monrose
Before I get the wrath of Lady Gaga’s little monsters, let me preface my post by saying that I have nothing against Gaga herself. I have no problem with the outfits she wears or her bisexuality. As a musician, I feel it’s my right to not like her music. With that said, please read the following Gaga quote in HuffPo about her upcoming video for “Alejandro”:
“I’ve been unable to find that with a straight man in my life. It’s a celebration and an admiration of gay love – it confesses my envy of the courage and bravery they require to be together. In the video I’m pining for the love of my gay friends – but they just don’t want me.”
My main issue with this quote is that it screams of cultural exocitism. Meaning, it attributes some unique or “exotic” characteristic to a group of people and fetishizes it (middle-class suburban teens flashing gang signs and wearing baggy pants; Americans trying to emulate anime characters). This exotic characteristic is a little more subtle – bravery and courage of having a relationship.
Often when you praise a group for something it’s at the expense of others. While being gay in many parts of this country and this world is extremely difficult, that doesn’t mean that hetero couples are any less courageous. There are so many examples of couples, gay or straight, being brave in order to stay together: bi-racial, interfaith, and long distance relationships all require some fearlessness.
Claiming that straight men can’t fulfill – what? a sense of danger or audacity in going out together? – is panning hetero relationships. I faced a lot of discrimination from an ex’s family because they were Mormon and I live my life completely outside those lines. Honey, if you want that, go for it.
This fetish with gay love makes me feel icky, and I’m not even gay. I’m not going to speak for the LGBT community, but I can speak from experience. I am Asian and I have my fair share of creepy stories about guys with an Asian thing. It’s weird. It makes me uncomfortable and upset. Don’t pine after me because of some ridiculous idea about my culture. I don’t think Gaga’s ideas here are any different.
Also, Gaga. If you want to tell a story about lesbian prison sex and misadventure or fetishizing gay love, write a song about it. “Telephone” and “Alejandro” are fun songs to dance to, but those of us who don’t watch MTV or fanatically search for you on YouTube won’t get the message. I for one would love to hear a song about something much more strange than dancing in the club while your boyfriend or girlfriend blows up your phone.
Tags: culture, exoticism, gay, homosexuality, lady gaga
